The Peril of Prince Gumball
by automatic teller machine
Summary: The Ice Queen is being a jealous cow, and envies how Prince Gumball and Fionna are such good friends. So what does she do? She ties Gumball to a railway track... or at least, tries to.


Author's Note: Warning: the following fanfiction is filled to the brim with clichés. If you take this seriously, I take serious pity on you. By the way, this fanfiction sounds much funnier if you read it to the Gruntilda theme from Banjo-Kazooie.

* * *

Fionna was a great heroine, a great heroine was Fionna.

For there was a great many things Fionna (and her feline companion Cake) had conquered; including, but not limited to:

- pushing a rather bitter lemon-headed countess off the throne of the Candy Kingdom

- stopping a zombie apocalypse by forcing a candy-corn mouse to do her dirty work, and

- preventing a lumpy prince (from space) from terrorising a village of midgets by making him apologise and share his sandwiches with them.

In fact, more often than not, Fionna would be foiling the plans of the nefarious Ice Queen, who often brought several ferocious follies forth when attempting to finish Fionna.

[IMAGINARY AUDIENCE REACTION: The Ice Queen? Boo! Hiss!]

The Ice Queen was a frosty, ferocious female, with a presence that petrified any princes she came near (she liked to kidnap them a lot, you see) but the thing was, she had her eye on one particular prince...

None other than the perfect pink Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom. No other male monarch in the lands of Aaa could compare to his beautiful eyes, and that dorky way he styled his hair, and the way he wasn't scared of wearing pink...

There was only one thing she disliked about Prince Gumball, though. It was a pretty big thing.

He and the hateful heroine Fionna were _tight._

The monstrous monarch broiled and brooded over this in her icy hell-hole of a cave home one fine day.

"Curse that so-called heroine Fionna!" she spat, waving her arms around. "Why won't she just leave me alone-a? I try to capture one measly little prince, and she hasn't forgiven me for it since!"

The penguins she called her servants looked vacantly at her and made little "wak-wak!" noises.

"Doesn't she know P.G is MINE for the taking?" she continued. "She interrupts us again, and I'll freeze her so hard, it'll leave her shaking!"

"Wak-wak!"

"Shut up, Gunter, or I'll give you a good shove!" she hissed to the penguin that made the noise. "Meanwhile, I think I'll show those two the meaning of tough love!"

Cut to the Candy Prince himself in his castle, with ever-faithful servant Peppermint Maid by his side.

"Oh, I do wonder, how is Fionna?" he asked himself. "Perhaps I'll call her up on the phone- AAAAARGHH!"

Peppermint Maid wasn't sure whether to be flabbergasted that the Ice Queen had just burst through the wall, or amused because the Prince screamed like a little girl.

"The Ice Queen!" she decided to exclaim. "And flying rubble! And OW, my spleen!"

"You shall think of Fionna no longer!" the Queen cackled. "For I shall hit you with a force even stronger!"

[awkward pause]

"A TRAIN!" And the frigid female grabbed Gumball and flew away, out of the window.

"And if you complain, I'll punch out your brain!" she continued, for the sake of the rhyme.

And we cut again, this time to a conveniently (or inconveniently, if you were Prince Gumball) placed railway.

"Thanks to your pandering, you'll be _smashed,_ my pretty!" the monstrous monarch cackled. "Except we'll never get married, which is quite a pity."

"Send help, send aid!" Gumball yelped. "Either way, I hope this train is delayed!"

Then the Ice Queen took a kick to the face.

It was Fionna and Cake, here to save the day!

[IMAGINARY AUDIENCE REACTION: Hooray!]

"Stop right there, you awful witch!" Fionna shouted. "Leave P.G alone, you stupid..."

"That's quite enough from you!" the Ice Queen shot back, preventing Fionna from saying something offensive. "Maybe I'll tie you to the tracks, too!"

"No!" Gumball exclaimed.

"YES!"

"If you want to do that, you'll have to fight us first!" said Cake from Fionna's side. "And... uh... wait, what rhymes with 'first'? Nursed, cursed, burst... sorry, I'm not that good at rhyming."

The Ice Queen took this as a chance to fire an ice spell at the two girls, which they narrowly managed to dodge.

"Wait a minute, I know how we can take her down!" Cake exclaimed. "Fionna, you just have to knock off her magical crown!"

"That was quite a good rhyme, Cake," said Prince Gumball.

"Thanks!"

"Ha! You'll never manage to knock my crown off!" the Ice Queen laughed. "Fionna, you move about as fast as a sloth!"

"Are you calling me fat?" Fionna asked, her fists clenching. "I find that offensive! SHORYUKEN!"

And with a rather powerful uppercut from Fionna's enraged fists, the Ice Queen was knocked backwards, her crown falling off. In her panic, she also dropped Gumball, who quickly managed to get over to Fionna.

"Now do you see, you villainous queen?" Gumball asked. "There's nothing you can gain from being so mean!"

"Curses!" the Ice Queen spat, finding her crown and putting it back on her head. "Foiled again! I guess next time, I'll kidnap _other _men! …like the Vampire King, Marshall Lee! If he has a fanbase that large, he must be the man for me!"

And she teleported away.

"P.G, are you okay?" Fionna asked. "If you're injured, just say."

"I am fine, thanks to you and Cake," he replied. "A fine heroic duo you two make."

"I guess now we can go home!" said Cake. "And I can talk to Lord Monochrome! ...Icorn!"

"Maybe you can practise your rhyming, too," said Fionna, and everyone laughed, except for Cake, because she didn't find it very funny.

And they all walked off into the sunset...


End file.
